The Downhill Side of the Slope

And so, time does move quickly, as everyone warned. I look at the chubby face of my son with his white blonde hair and long lashes and compare it to the bald chubby face of him one year ago and I see the same boy. Longer arms. Longer legs. More hair. But it's still him,…

Five Fingers

I wrote this last year, September 2018. It lands with a bit more weight for me these days... I remember falling asleep on the edge of the woods in Frederick, Maryland in a large log home my parents lived in until the woods became too much woods for my father to take care of.  My…

Father’s Day

In 1847 Christina Potts Moore had a baby at 50. In 1857 Margaret Ripple Wirick had a baby at 50. In 1858 Catherine Elizabeth Rowe Dribble had a baby at 50. All were by natural conception. In 2015, singer Sophie B. Hawkins had a baby at 50 by IVF. Her own eggs. I think. In…

Braids

My grandmother’s bay window had a large white sill that was full of small painted pots on matching saucers. Each one held an African Violet. Like dolls posed to sit in the sun all day, facing West. I used to think of them as mine. Violets were my flower, she’d say, because I was born…

Dog vs. Baby

Dog Vs. Baby. Baby wins every time. I have done the unthinkable. I have abandoned my dog. She lay in her bed, her snout on the pillowed edge, her nose hanging over, her hound eyes expertly wrinkled into disappointment and despair. Hounds look this way most of the time, but she can really exaggerate it. She…

Can I?

Last Fall, I tried to hang out, as I usually do, at a music conference in town. Usually I'm playing shows, networking, schilling my music and myself around like a well-oiled independent machine, self-branded, dressed very carefully to say a certain thing about who I am and what music I make but also, very importantly,…

Conception

The day after Independence Day. The day after the party after the barbecues when the hangover is still throbbing in the frontal lobes of the collective head, when the fireworks’ smoke still lingers over the summer grass like a haze, before the sprinklers get turned on to wash the lawns clean of reverie. The day…

Yes

In remembrance of my friend Lori FitzGerald, an extraordinary woman, the most positive person I have ever met in my life, a retired teacher with a wide Chicago accent and an exuberance that is rare in this cooler than cool town.  A woman who could wear a tutu skirt with a rock and roll t shirt…

The Blue Hour

For roughly 20 minutes, during twilight, which can happen in the morning or the evening, red light passes through space while blue light is scattered into the atmosphere, creating a soft light of deep blue in the sky.  The sun dips down between 4 and 8 degrees on the horizon allowing this indirect light to…

Having a Baby at 50

Having a baby at 50 is like wandering into middle earth without a map that’s all in Elfin and having never even read (nor ever wanted to read) Tolkein. Everyone’s speaking gibberish and seems, well, naïve and kind of silly – like all those Dungeon & Dragons friends of mine from high school. Having a…