Perimenopause

It’s 11:09pm and I’m wide awake. I’m usually asleep by an hour ago. In bed in my pj’s by 9pm. This is what 52 is like. Maybe, that’s not true. This is what 52 with an almost-2 year old is like. Our routine is, well, routine. 6:30pm dinner for H. Bubble bathtime. Teeth brushing. A…

Evensong

  On December 31st 2019, the sun low in the sky, my dead father sat in the bass section of the choir of the Adamsville United Methodist Church. He had died just two months before, thousands of miles away, but there he was at the 4pm Christmas Eve service, in a small town in Tennessee,…

21 Month Purge

I spent today in a pile of clothes too small for my growing 21 month old.  I couldn’t believe that I still had, stuffed in the onesie drawer (and why do I still have onesie’s anyway), a troff of 6-8 month old clothes. The drawers are flooded with things that have long since stopped fitting…

Weight

My son sits on my stomach and bounces. He’s not a light kid. At 20 months, he’s 29 pounds, tall for his age, and strong. He’s at that stage where his enthusiasm can get twisted with physicality and he’ll slap me across the face while cooing “Mama” and then burst into laughter. He’s bitten and…

Follow The Trail

I spent a few hours this morning hiking in the woods. It wasn’t planned. I was running an errand, delivering something that Jamey had forgotten, driving 40 minutes from home and happy to do it as the morning was beautiful and I didn’t have plans and I wanted to listen to a long podcast. I…

What A Wonderful World

July, 2019 Dad was nestled in the corner of the soft white couch in the soft white room filled with wicker and bamboo furniture and heavy glass tables, framed pictures of shells and mermaids in light pastels hung sparingly on the walls, white and stretching to the sky, white fans in the center of each…

Both Feet On The Ground

NO DEPRESSION I wrote a song to Huck when I was pregnant. I’ve not been writing lately so I thought I’d share with you this article about me in No Depression Magazine which features a video montage of photos of my new family with the song “Both Feet On The Ground” playing. Ok. That’s not…

Runaway

When I was 12, I ran away from home. It was a failed excursion but I remember it so well. My family was moving from Minnesota to Pennsylvania and, for some reason, we were not taking with us my beloved dog, Numpy, so my parents drove him off one afternoon (did I go? I don’t…

The Downhill Side of the Slope

And so, time does move quickly, as everyone warned. I look at the chubby face of my son with his white blonde hair and long lashes and compare it to the bald chubby face of him one year ago and I see the same boy. Longer arms. Longer legs. More hair. But it's still him,…